Life Decisions.

College is very complicated to me. I think that is mainly because I don't truly know what I'm going to employ myself in, so there are so many choices, yet not enough somehow.

So I started out with college in order to challenge myself, so I came to SPSU, decided to get into Intro. to Mechatronics, and take chem, pre-calc, edgraphics, and comp 1. It ends up that I like comp and graphics better than the rest (though I'm ok with chem so far), and mech. ends up being my least favorite class. Not only that, but now, every time i come out of that class, I'm so stressed out and I really want to cry.

Can you say YUCK. I've decided that I don't like where this class is going, and, thinking into the future, i dont think id like MYSELF if I stayed in this class, let alone make it a profession.

The thing about engineers is that they are problem solvers. this is great, sounds great, but its not me. They focus on creating something to solve a problem. I focus (and want to continue to focus) on people as individuals and their needs. Now, if you look at this in a certain way, you can believe that solving problems is helping people. And it is. Indirectly. They are all focused on finding solutions and fixing things, and I am just not cut out of that cloth.

I was not wired to be an engineer, or at least the kind I've seen so far. I don't know how Mr. David does his stuff, because I cannot be in that environment and yet care for people at the same time.

And being stressed out everytime I THINK of Mech. is not good for me either. It's almost self-preservation by dropping this class.

Now, I know this sounds like I'm not "living up to potential" or "taking the easy way out", but I want to be a personal assistant. Secretary if you will. I've come back to this profession three times now, and it seems to fit. I've done some of the work before, and I enjoyed doing it, just didnt like the environment it was placed in.

Getting an Associates doesnt seem to be nearly as stressful, and also is less, not to mention if i go to this one school that my mom and i were looking at, its less of a drive. which would be nice.

My credits might transfer (I'm trying to just finish up this semester, then move on), though they dont require any sciences, but that's not too bad, I'll just have gained some more knowledge, that's all. And that's not a bad thing.


So yeah, this is what's going on, and in addition to that my citation ticket costs $122 so i probably wont be able to go to the passion conference this January. Grr. Oh well.


How's stuffz with you?