So, for the past few days, I've been feeling like I'm dreaming all day. I have a feeling that one reason why is because my best friend just got married yesterday, and I have yet to take that occurrence as a reality. Yes, there are other things that have contributed to my state of mind, but I'm not sure if I want to talk about that right now.
It's weird dreaming when I'm awake..it feels as if I can't take anything seriously...and as if I'm going to wake up any second and things'll be as they were....which, in a way, is a really bad thing. What I consider to be (in my mind) my normal is fighting with Andy Flannery (who was another of my best friends and one point...we don't make contact any more by my decision), and then being friends again, then fighting again, and not being able to think straight. And on the side of my other best friend (the one that got married), my normal in my mind for her is finding a new b/f....I become friends with him...we talk more and more...Jen gets mad 'cause she thinks I'm trying to steal him, we get in a fight...we make it up, they separate for some reason....repeat experience....
So I guess, what I'm saying is I'm so used to major DRAMA in my life, it feels like I'm dreaming when it's not present. Which is good, since in my real dreams there is no drama...
But the reason why it's bad is because I'm expecting all of this to go *poof* any second and I'll be in that drama stuff again for the rest of my life. Which means I'm going to miss opportunites in this real life since I won't be taking it seriously.
OH btw, Jen (the one who's married now) made me dance with the guy who had to walk me down the aisle. She said both me and Crystal (her sis and matron of honor) had to dance with David's (her now-husband) best men...two of which were Crystal and my guys who had to walk us down the before-mentioned asile. Anywho, what I was saying was that was the first time I've ever done that before..."danced" with a guy. Jen is the only one who's even seen me dance...and teach me how herself. He was so nice about it. All of David's friends who came were nice guys. I enjoyed being around them. They made me laugh pretty hard. :)
I guess that's part of this whole waking dream deal. I'm also used to Andy being the only guy that talks to me...unless it's Jen's new b/f. Now more guys are talking to me without me feeling like it's because they have to. You know those senarios...the ones that the couple goes off by themselves and they leave you with the other guy....so you feel like you two are obligated to talk. Or the senario that Jen uses alot with me. The one that she tries to make eye contact with me so she can furiously mouth to me to talk to him. Yuck. I hate forced conversation. It's the worst.
I have thank you cards to write today, as it's past Christmas and we want to get them done soon. Oh well, maybe I'll have more to say in the New Year.
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas...and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
