Thinking back to the way my social life was pre-college, all I can remember is spurts of trying to be like anyone who would notice me, learning how to dance in a very attention-seeking way, getting ticked off at people, drama, fights, being a third wheel all of the time, trying to explain how things really were but not getting my point across, and accepting people as they were but never knowing who I was.
That changed once I took a leap out of my comfort zone, let go of my security blanket that wasn't necessarily healthy, and got involved in a college group who I only knew one person in, and happened to be meeting at her house. Looking back, that decision changed more in me then what I knew was even available for me to partake in, let alone end up living in.
I meet so many wonderful people when I let go. Granted, not everyone pursues healthy lifestyles, but when I jump on something really out there for me, God always pulls out these random people I can not only look to for growth, but also interact with and know better as the separate human beings they are.
I have changed so much over these past four years of college. Four years ago I was finishing up my first semester of college, and not quite sure how I made it. Still a bit terrified of all of the men on my campus, and not able to look people in the eye, I was still finding myself in a whirlwind of change.
Now, only a year away from graduating, I have transitioned from "not sure how I made it" to "that was rather easy, is college tricking me?" and hoping that once I earn my degree I can establish myself in a company somewhere as a hard worker and worth keeping on and paying enough to survive as an adult in this world. That's the part that terrifies me now, that I wont be able to support myself post-undergrad and I'll have to be at home for ay longer than I would want to be. Which is funny, because that fear is almost the exact opposite of what I went in with to freshman year: terrified of change, hoping for the best, but not sure what that would look like, and hoping to goodness I wouldn't have to shake up my world too much. Now I wish I can make a new chapter as quickly as possible.
With new people, friends, and experiences.
Almost time to jump. :)
